My nephew Alex is heading off to Buffalo for his first year at college this month. I know my sister Sandi is on that rollercoaster of emotion right now, as well as my friend Lisa who is packing up her son Frankie for his first year away. And then there's my Shelly-Shelysa who's got two boys - her son Michael has his bags packed and his twin Keefer starts his first job as a high school graduate. I am just feeling excited for all of them and can't wait to see who they decide to become. I thought I'd offer up some advice they can really use since I'm sure these mom's have already covered all the practical stuff:
Minimize food budget by scheduling classes around Happy Hour.
Enjoy being a Sophomore — It will be the best three years ofyour life.
Wear an athletic cup to panty raids, because it’s all fun andgames until someone loses their ‘nads.
Lemon juice and baking soda make an excellent bong waterstain remover.
If an 8:00 am class is required for your major, change your major.
Boring lecture? Start a wave!
College-level algebra: 5 returnable bottles = 1 deliciousRamen Noodle dinner.
“I Phelta Thi” is *not* a real fraternity, except at state colleges.
Remember – almost no one complains when you puke in adumpster.
Clever margin manipulation can turn a 4-page outline intoa 100-page senior essay.
Football games were never meant to be observed by sober people.
Don’t think of it as sleeping with your professor — think of it as “acing Biology.”
In a pinch, beer can be used as a milk substitute in your breakfast cereal.
*jokes found on "That was Funny" website
Hang in there ladies, before you know it you'll be finding good use for that extra bedroom!
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